Participatory
Practices
How
to "be" in a conference and other participatory decision-making
groups.
If
you're invited into a family conference, or any other participatory
decision-making group, it's because your thinking and your resources
are needed and valued. You are being asked to come in to the
meeting and participate fully. That means with your whole
heart and mind; in spirit as well as in body. You're not just
there for decoration!
Start
with these premises:
| |
 You're
here because your participation is needed and valued;
|
| |
You
have as much personal authority as anyone else and, as such,
deserve to be heard and taken seriously;
|
| |
Your
viewpoints and contributions are part of a bigger whole picture
that no one person can see or achieve alone. |
Conferences
are typically a combination of "DIALOGUE" and "DISCUSSION". What's
the difference between these two types of conversation?
According
to Ellinor and Girard (1998), the differences can be summarized as
follows:
|
Dialogue |
Discussion |
| Emphasis
on seeing the whole among the parts |
Emphasis
on breaking issues into parts |
| Emphasis
on seeing the connections between the parts |
Emphasis
on seeing distinctions between the parts |
| Inquiry
into assumptions |
Justifying
and defending assumptions |
| Focus
on learning through inquiry and disclosure |
Focus
on persuading, selling and telling |
| Creating
shared meaning among many points of view |
Gaining
agreement on one meaning. |
Generally
speaking, we use DIALOGUE to explore
the issues, resources and possibilities, then DISCUSSION to
set the plan of action.
What
are some of the skills and personal qualities that help make for
strong participation?
|
Personal
Qualities
|
Skills
|
| Awareness
of your "ground": your perspective, opinions, knowledge
and experience |
Ability
to articulate your "ground" |
| A
spirit of inquiry and nondefensiveness |
Ability
to suspend judgements |
| Awareness
of the "logical forces" at work in the conversation: "shoulds",
behavioral norms, etc. |
Ability
to reflect |
| Tolerance
of the tension between the need to open up and explore and
the need to decide and settle matters. |
Ability
to inquire |
It
also helps to know the difference between your personal
authority and your role authority:
|
Personal
Authority
|
Role
Authority
|
| Your
ideas and opinions |
Your
ability to offer services or commit your agency's resources |
| Your
knowledge of resources |
Your
authority or responsibility for making recommendations to
a court |
| Your
perspective on issues |
Your
responsibility for implementing court orders |
| Your
feelings |
Your
responsibility for communicating information, e.g., your
agency's position, information from court, etc. |
What
do people most often ask for help and training on? In
the words of our colleagues, it's on "how to say difficult
things" in a team meeting. From our experience there's
two parts to this: how to SAY difficult
things and how to HEAR difficult things!
"Difficult
things" often tend to be one of these:
These are some of our favorite books on
these subjects:
Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most
by Douglas
Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen, and Roger Fisher
Getting to Yes
by Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton
The
Little Book of Dialogue for Difficult Subjects: A Practical Hands-On
Guide (The
Little Books of Justice & Peacebuilding)
by Lisa Schirch
and David Campt
Dialogue: The Art Of Thinking Together
by William Isaacs
The Magic of Dialogue: Transforming Conflict into Cooperation
by Daniel Yankelovich
Dialogue: Rediscover the Transforming Power of Conversation
by Linda
Ellinor and Glenna Gerard
